Lesson Four : I'm bad at this and that's okay

So as the title states, I am having a rough time with sense memory. I can usually feel the thing, even taste and smell it, but I can't see it. The homework exercise was really helpful in that regard. The lighter exercise was really eye opening, especially after the class when I demonstrated the same thing to my boyfriend and he could see a noticeable difference!

Being "in belief" = feeling the size, texture and weight of an object as if it were there. I really got that during the lighter exercise, but completely got in my head and missed it during the "problem" exercise. My partner was indicating A LOT and one thing I noticed was that the more she indicated the more I had NO CLUE what the item actually was. When it was my turn I found that I had focused so intently on trying to figure out what she was holding, that Jon's instructions flew out the window and I did ALL the bad things. I visualized the item, but not the weight of it. I indicated. I looked directly at it like that would will it into existence. It's not so much that I want to be right, its that I don't want to be wrong and look like I'm not paying attention. Anxiety whee!!

I think most people have already posted it, but Jon asked us to list the steps so here it goes:

Day One: Look at the object for 5 minutes. Notice a small detail but don't try to memorize it. After five minutes, try to visualize the object in your mind's eye.
-I struggled with the first half for the same reason I struggle with meditation. I KNOW its good for me, but focusing is hard. I find that breathing helps a bit, but I still get fidgetty. Luckily though, it didn't take much and I was able to visualize the object pretty easily after! My mind didn't need it. It did the work despite my difficulties, which was really cool.

Day Two: Hold the object, turn it, manipulate it several times. Test out different grips. Repeat this 10 times.Then try to pick up the object and hold it in your minds eye.
-Muscle memory is a really cool thing. By the time it got to the point where I need to pick up this phantom object, the muscles in my right arm had already tensed up just thinking about holding the thing.

Day Three: Pick up the object. Look at it for 3 mins while holding it. Put it down. Repeat. Then again try to pick up the object in your mind's eye without looking at it.
-Another day of focusing. Again, difficult for me, but 3 minutes is more doable that 5 and this time muscle memory was on my side to help.

Day Four: Explore the object. What can it do? How can it be manipulated? Find an action to repeat.
-At that point I think I definitely had a handle on THIS object. The hard part will be coming up with other objects that I don't have the muscle memory for. Which is an interesting thing with green screen. It's one thing to imagine an object that's not there, its another thing entirely to learn to override the senses of an object that is. For instance, doing motion capture for a war movie where you're given a small wooden gun for a prop when in fact your real gun is a semi-automatic that weighs 20 pounds. Also an interesting "Aha!" moment for me just this second was that as a voice actor I think of improv almost entirely as dialogue, but nowadays Voice Actors are often asked to motion capture or "mocap" their actions for the animators.
So even voice actors like myself or Evelyn still need physical improv training.

What a great read. Very relatable. I am so pleased that you find the value in this work.