Journal entries for homework

my front porch.


M late night       chilly. streetlight glows bright . bugs bugs bugs bugs BUGS. FOCUS. a few cars go by intermittently on the adjoining road, one goes onto my road and drives past my house. mostly quiet. can hear the hum of tv voices from inside more than I can hear 'the outdoors'. I can see the neighbor across the way/s kitchen light is still on. Shadows of clusters of trees which line the driveway in both directions. (horse shoe shaped driveway) Garage motion light is on which means a bunny must have hopped past-I hope a bunny. realize I'm thinking. try to refocus. not very windy but occasionally a chill up and down my arms and my nose feels just slightly cold on the tip of it, so do my fingertips and the tips of my ears.

T morning  chilly again. leaves of  surrounding trees have dew. grey ish sky sun is not out yet but a few times the dew did appear to 'glisten' on the nearest tree branch. That tree has apples. little baby ones. The branches hang out over the porch and over the steps of the porch. several cars woosh by. Birds are chirping and I can hear a dog way off in the distance but it sounds like regular barking not angry barking. and it's pretty far away. not the neighbor. The air feels 'crisp'. There is a weird looking bug thing way in the corner on one of the chairs next to the table on the porch. slimy looking thing. a spider web under the chair leg. so many birds are chirping. Road workers at the end of the street are arriving in their big truck things. I can kind of hear the engines.

Wed morning Chilly again. wet air again. beep beep beep chugg chugg -road crew. yellow and white cat is over to the left in our cabbages. breaks my concentration. Then I become very aware of one particular squirrel that is just 'frozen' on the nook of a branch on a tree across the driveway. we seemingly make eye contact for awhile. birds, distant car sounds, still zeroed in on him then He bolts down the tree, past the house, past where the cat was, and into the woods suddenly.There are so. many. leaves all over that hill. THINKING. breath. another breath and a stretch. refocus. the hair on my arms is kind of still sticking up from the chilly air. there are birds chirping the whole time. lots of cars pulling out of the cul de sac across the street this morning. I stretch and run my hands thru my hair and feel my hair go around my fingers and gently scratch my scalp and feel very awake.

Thursday mid day
There are birds off in the distance but then the idiot neighbor starts shooting rifles from across the pond. Dogs start barking. lots of cars going past very frequently, down the street and also in and out of the cul de sac and also on the adjoining road to my street. Some clouds but right now the sun is out. I hear the beep of the mail lady and she pulls into the cul de sac across the street. guns guns guns. Neighbor across the way's dogs are going nuts. dogs down the street are echoing. road crew beep beeep lounder than the mail lady's beep beep. bark bark. GUNS. I give up this day. lots going on schedule wise, and I didn't re attempt at a later time today, sorry. <3  

Friday night   humid outside, I am the most aware I think I've been of wanting to look at the timer and go back inside.
street light is on shining and the first house of the cul de sac has their garage door open so there is a light shining on their driveway and front yard and our porch light is also on so it feels quite bright outside even though it is past 9 pm. The extra light seems to distract my soft gaze this time, drawing my attention to the bottom right of the driveway. I smell bug spray and the smell of plants is strong right now. The grassy/dirt smell that plants have. We have alot of plants on the porch, and also I smell a whiff of a bag of rotten vegetables that need to go get mushed up into the garden way over on the other side of the  hill. No light on at the neighbors tonight. Start becoming aware of thinking again as the timer dings and I retreat back into the glorious air conditioning

Sat night  I should have done this in the morning but, I didn't. <3
humid and sticky boom boom boom hiss crackle ka blam boom booom sssssssskaaaapopp! everything smells like sulfur and the air seems to even coat the inside of your mouth? dry throat and very aware of fucking mosquitoes. citronella smell and bug spray smell and charcoal smell. murmer of voices in nearly every direction and various levels of BOOM bo^om _boom bOOOooom ^crackle sisssss crackle hiss the air is so thick it feels like I should not breathe too deep out here. you cannot see the road thru all the residual smoke. it looks like a zombie movie or the phantom of the opera fog levels rolling up the driveway. except that then there are bursts of light and glitter in the sky. and then it looks like rain but we know it's not rain. it's ashes. goldred/flash bang blue/green/gold/red flash bang purple/green/green/red/gold Squiggles and zips and zig zags of lines of powder and smoke in the sky.
the street light looks like a tiny little house lightbulb with a cloth over it, it's so opaque and more like a dot of warm white a not a glow at all and no light at the neighbors. I hope they left and took their doggos away from the craziness.

Sun mid morning neutral on temperature for once. not hot, not cold. occasionally I feel a breeze go past, just barely enough to push my hair across my back slightly for a second or two. Now the air is clearer, and does not feel thick, but everything smells like smoke and hickory chips and barbeque. The are is not wet. But it's 11:30 so the dew must have dried already. There are curls of ashes on the railing from the debris that falls back down. a few birds far away but not many right now. there is a bunny at the edge of the garden. I can hear it's teeny little footsteps on the leaves of the plants occasionally. the ac unit cuts on so loudly and suddenly that he scampers off quickly and I can't spot him again. HHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMM there are some branches of a tree on that side of the driveway that are now shaking vigorously as the output from the AC unit hits them, and as this happens some little yellow leaves fall and billow down all over the driveway. HMMMMMM it's like an airplane hanger it's so freaking loud. I notice all the tree's shadows on the driveway parts that I can see through the slats of the wood railing of the porch. the gravel specks sparkle in the bits where the sun is reaching through. there are some lights strung around the railing and there is an ant crawling around the wire and I am watching him and noticing how he is three times smaller than the individual bulb on the sting lights. the neighbor across the way's dogs are out in the fence but they are sleeping in the sun. They must have come home early this morning.


Those who know me know that I struggle with hearing loss, so I do tend to focus more on my other senses. This is always a very humbling reminder that I have to keep at it constantly to retrain myself to be on high alert with ALL senses.

xxoxoxoo

What incredible detail, Lauren.  Your posts almost always transport me to wherever you were down to the smallest detail - like the motion light coming on.  I really feel like I was there with you each night (and with the bunny too)!  I felt the same way about your chicken nuggets story - funny and poignant at the same time.   Jorja  :-}

It sounds like you got what Jon was wanting us to do. You really get to the detail.