6/23 Class Recap

Today’s class began with a discussion on the mind manufacturing images. It came to the conclusion that just because the mind manufactures something, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Jon advised us to just “slow it down.” If you let those impulses slow down, your own mind will come up with something. If your mind is racing with various images, pick the first one, and commit to it. Let your mind wander and feel yourself relax. Since the mind is so extraordinary selective, there has to be interplay with the cognitive mind. So, let the images go by. Let the manufactured image coalesce and accept it. He also told us to let other senses come in to help stimulate them. Senses like smell can help you focus in and connect to a room. When you feel connected to the image, freeze it and let it rest so it won’t be in flux. For example, when the image of my bedroom included either a Beauty and the Beast decal or NSYNC poster depending on which direction my point of view shifted to. This practice is about letting your cognitive mind rest and not creating a memory. Remember: this is about getting a sense of a place and not an incident so, when you picture a room you are in there alone. There should be no interaction with others so if a person does appear, don’t focus on them. If you begin to think of a specific incident, empty the room of any people.

The exercise for this class was zooming and moving through a room with the goal of practicing changing your point of view while still holding the image. So, we will actually be moving through the room we are streaming. When we stop the image, we should relax and live in it. We began with our usual breathing technique, softened gaze, gently tapping our temples, and asking “I wonder what I see?” before moving our finger forward from our temple to project said image. Then, slowly trace the objects in the room to get a sense of placement of those objects. Choose an anchor- something smaller, perhaps something you could hold. If you have trouble picking an anchor, you can choose by finding the lightest object in the room since light always hits first and is part of how the memory sees. Connecting to your senses will help you feel more in the room. Jon instructed that we move right to the chosen object by slowly zooming in on it to the point where it takes up full focus and you’re close enough to touch it. Trace the object on your leg and draw in detail a specific section of the object. Then zoom out so the object is no longer the main focus and so the room is viewed again from the place you started.

First, we practiced this by using the room we were physically in as an example. By practicing with the physical rather than the imaginary, it helps the mind learn to stimulate moving through a room for streaming. For me, it was very weird but very good practice! It was easy for me to zoom in on my chosen object but, even though it was there in front of me, I had trouble zooming out. I had imagined myself zooming in and out and even closed my eyes to focus better. Ultimately, I ended up physically moving toward the object as close as I could and then moving away from it. This helped me to get a better feel for the zooming out effect. I think part of this issue was due to what I mentioned in my last post: I tend to see my images in wide-shot, close-up, or slowly panning over the expanse of the room. Jon encouraged us to practice this three times before the next class in any room we can to work on getting a broad view of a room and working with an anchor.

Next, we pictured our childhood bedrooms again, did our usual preparation to connect to the image, and chose an anchor to zoom in on. After tracing the object, Jon instructed to change our point of view to behind then object then to the point of view of the object itself. He then asked us to hone in on another object in the room, zoom in on it, trace it, and zoom out by going back to our original point of view. We did this as a group but, when the exercise was over, we each harvested individually and got to review the experience with Jon.

I seriously struggled even connecting to my childhood bedroom this time. I think it is due to the turmoil in my own life causing my mind to be unable to properly focus. In fact, when I went to check the time about an hour into class, I saw I received a rather devastating message. I tried in vain to control my anxieties and be calm but, it just took me so long to get a grasp of the room. I was feeling such stress that everytime someone spoke or made a noise, it took me out of the room and I had to start over again. Then, by listening to Jon’s instructions, I realized how far behind I was and tried to rush to catch up. I haven’t had such a flickering connection when doing this before and it was frustrating. Instead of getting a solid image of the whole room, I saw one specific section with the sides somewhat fading in and out. However, I could see this section clearly and chose my childhood teddy bear as an anchor. Rather than zooming in gracefully, it was as if my mind leaped toward the middle of the room and then slowly zoomed in. I was able to trace the bear and see it clearly. I will add though, that tracing in the air works well for me but for some reason tracing on my leg is more distracting than anything. Perhaps it has something to do with the physical relaxation I need in order to connect well. My view shifted to behind the bear well but, I found my view behind it and view as object were virtually the same since it is so small. Seeing my room from that point of view was so interesting and enlightening. I found I was able to picture it easier than I expected and reminded me of laying in my bed as a child. Then, I moved to the Austin Powers soundtrack laying on the right side of my vanity. This was a little easier to zoom in on, likely because it was closer in distance. Strangely, it took a few tries to pan my point of view from the CD to the doorway where I started. I found myself moving as if I were backing up into the original spot instead of being able to go directly toward the doorway. Now that I am processing this, maybe that is because I haven’t imagined the rooms beyond that room- looking at that doorway with the door open was just darkness as if the lights were off and it was night time, even though it is broad daylight whenever I view my bedroom. I also found that I was able to view my room much easier and more clearly while others harvested and spoke with Jon one by one. It was as if it was easier for my mind to tune that out as background noise than when we were going through the actual streaming process. When harvesting with Jon, he soothed my frustrations by reminding me, “you didn’t give up.” He also addressed all of us proudly saying that we looked like how we felt while we were harvesting. This is important because this is the opposite of indicating (an acting cardinal sin). I hope that by the next class, my mind is clearer so I can return to my usual relaxed state and stream a little easier.

It’s so interesting how Streaming is like walking a tightrope wire. Balance is dependent on relaxing and not thinking or looking down. The tight wire can be walked only if you can feel your wat through it. Sometimes it;s very hard to relax. Just wait for your first callback!