6/18 Class Recap

Today, class started with Jon highly recommending Josh’s post on the logic behind image streaming and forcing ourselves to remember things vs. allowing unconscious images to fill our consciousness. By streaming, we are bringing forth those oft-forgotten, compartmentalized memories. I advise anyone reading this to check out his original post for that first class under the username schwa1 for his very informative explanation.

In class, Jon gave us an overview of said post as a jumping-off point for the day’s main activity. He began by explaining that the brain has many parts and this process includes a sense of “letting go” elements. Our brains have been conditioned by society to not listen to this part that we are trying to access in class. But by using this part of the brain, it allows us to be more individual rather than compliant and not allowing that part of yourself to be minimized. In class, we have a tendency to choose what we are going to see. This is a normal response and one that I am guilty of; when told that we’d be image streaming our childhood bedrooms, I involuntarily started trying to remember that bedroom before it was even my turn. However, what we want is that unique, unpredictable side that comes from that weaker, more controlled imaging part of the brain. He reassured us that it takes time to will yourself to let go of the programming and that we may feel pressure to find that image when we try to stream. That is why class exercises cover a more obscure, general category in which to steam. Jon coached us, saying we should be patient and take our time reaching that zen state that allows us to truly stream instead of rushing because that’s our cognitive side trying to rush us.  And to reach that space, you have to unleash the memory, not just say what you remember. When you start to connect to that zen state, you will feel at peace and anxiety-free. And ideally, you’ll see nothing or a blank slate of some sort and you must breathe through it and relax. Just let yourself be and, eventually, an image will appear. That relaxed state is what allows your mind to automatically produce imagery. In my experience, the best way to really immerse yourself and slow yourself down is to explore the image you’re seeing. Tracing can also help because it helps to create a broad sense of the room and where objects are in your image. Pay attention to any impulse to fidget or move as those are signs of anxiety and that your mind and body are not in balance.

A few of us were nervous of an unpleasant memory reaching the surface since we’re effectively entering a state that could allow those painful instances our brain has compartmentalized to protect us to become unlocked. To this, Jon put our minds at ease by explaining that since we’re just entering a setting where we don’t interact with anyone, recalling these images from memory cannot hurt you. he used an example of seeing a room with his mom in it but, he only ever interacts with a pillow. It’s not about a story or incident. It’s as if you’re viewing a picture.

So, the goal of today’s exercise was to reach that relaxed, neutral state and take note of the steps it took to get there so it can be repeated in the future. As a group, we were instructed to breathe and we each sate quietly to allow our minds to go blank. After a while, Jon gave us the prompt of streaming our earliest Christmas. For me, getting to that meditative state included a focus on breathing to start, closing my eyes, and having a totally relaxed body. My blank slate was pure white that I described in class as being just like the scene in The Matrix where they enter “The Construct” where whatever the character needs appears before them. My mind didn’t take very long to produce an image: a meadow with slightly overgrown green grass, flowers, and a mountain with a waterfall in the distance. This image made me feel at peace and was incredibly pleasant to be in. In an effort to keep my mind blank and ready for our prompt, I went back to white only to overhear a bird chirping. That caused my blank space to suddenly have a branch with a bluebird appear in front of me. I worked hard to keep my mind from drifting during this process but, with the relationship drama going on in my life currently, it was momentarily difficult not to think of that person and keep my emotions from flooding forward. I was actually grateful when Jon provided our image to stream after wiping my slate clean again moments before. I pictured my grandma’s old house in Flatbush and the Christmas we spent there years ago. I realized in this class that my mind produces images similar to a film or TV show: in wide or close-up shots (no zooming in or out or panning). So, I started with a wide shot of her large living room where I could see everything, including the tree and presents on the opposite side of the room. Then, my mind went to close up as it recalled the specific Rockstar Barbie doll I got that year and it was as if I could feel the fabric of its clothes on my fingertips. It was such an astounding experience. I admitted to Jon when we each discussed our experience afterward that once the image appeared, my mind drifted more and more as time went on. Luckily, he said this was alright since he didn’t give us a way to anchor the image while we were streaming and once we have a solid hold of the image, we can wipe it away.

More and more, this class reminds me of a form of guided meditation. Which I think is part of why I enjoy and connect with it so much. I have also started jotting down any distinct dreams I’ve been having. This was something I already tended to do for particularly vivid or enjoyable dreams so, I look forward to exploring them further.